Missed Opportunity

I've been at my job for over 5 years now; for my company that makes me an "old timer". There is a core group of us who were all hired within a year of each other. We're quite close. We've been to each others kids' games, helped each other move, fixed flat tires in the rain, moved monster TV's and attended weddings. Out of this whole bunch I'm the only Christian. For a while I was hard hearted and didn't consider it my job to proactively 'witness' to these people - I figured my life would be enough. Only thing, I was quite the hypocrite. The last 2'ish years Jesus has worked an absolute miracle in my life. He's shown me that I'm not perfect like I thought I was (that was quite a blow to my pride) and He's also shown me that I can trust Him and go to Him for everything. These lesson's have been hard learned but I wouldn't trade them for anything.

A year ago this November I was in a car accident, our truck was totalled, then I was in physical therapy for 5ish months, then I had about a million doctor's appointments, then we decided it'd be a great time to buy a house, then 6 weeks after we're in our house the transmission on our car breaks, to the tune of $3000.00. That's just MY stuff, that's not even my family's stuff - which we seem to have a lot of (cancer, lost jobs, death, chronic long term illnesses). Anyway, all of that to say, the last year of my life has stressful and challenging. But the Lord has been SO amazing, He has taught me so much and carried me and given me a peace that is beyond amazing and totally complete.

So, back to the work story. Earlier this week when we found out it was going to be $3000 to fix the car one of my co-workers was talking to me (someone who I've prayed for opportunities to share my faith with) and commented on how I've not been fazed by all the "stuff" that's been going on - how I've not been freaking out and how that is so unlike me. My response was, "why stress out?".

"Why stress out?" The Lord opens the door and I decide to walk through it with "why stress out". I couldn't have said, "Why stress out, I know who's in charge and I know that He's got it covered."

I realize that the Lord is sovereign and my co-workers salvation is not dependant on me. I realize that there is grace for my humanness. But, I still feel as if I've lost an opportunity. I've worked with him for 5 years now and I can count on 3 fingers how many times I've had an opportunity to share with him.

Lord - open my mouth and my heart to share YOU with these people that you love so much. Forgive me for letting 'fear of man' overtake 'fear of God.' Amen.